While the child is now a part of your life, they do not have to be the only part. Reclaiming small pockets of your old identity (hobbies, work, social life) is vital for your mental health. When to Get Immediate Help
If your feelings of "not wanting to be a mother" have turned into thoughts of harming yourself or the child, or if you feel completely detached from reality, please reach out for help immediately.
You can find international helplines via Befrienders Worldwide or IASP .
Feeling ashamed for not experiencing the "instant bond" or "joy" that society expects from mothers.
A therapist can help you process "maternal regret" without judgment.
Lou S. Felipe, Ph.D. (she/they) is an assistant professor at the University of Colorado School of Medicine, where she provides culturally responsive, trauma-focused psychotherapy. Her research examines the intersectional identity experiences of marginalization, particularly at the intersection of race, ethnicity, gender, and sexuality with a unique specialization in Pilipinx American psychology.
