By prioritizing authentic communication over the illusion of peace, couples can build a more resilient foundation that reduces the likelihood of secrecy and betrayal.
: Practicing what researchers often call "turning toward" a partner’s attempts at connection. This involves acknowledging emotional bids and responding with presence, which reinforces the bond of trust.
: Learning to identify and express needs and frustrations in real-time. This prevents the accumulation of resentment that often precedes emotional or physical withdrawal.
: Secrecy is a muscle. Once a partner gets used to hiding small disappointments to avoid a fight, it becomes psychologically easier to harbor larger secrets, such as an affair.